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              《快樂的死亡》陸文夫

              2018-3-16 14:43| 編輯: admin| 查看: 25543| 評論: 0

                作家有三種死法。一曰自然的死,二曰痛苦的死,三曰快樂的死。

                自然的死屬于心臟停止跳動,是一種普遍的死亡形式,沒有特色,可以略而不議。快樂的死和痛苦的死不屬于心臟停止跳動,是人還活著,作品已經、或幾乎是沒有了!

                作家沒有了作品,可以看作是個人藝術生命的死亡、職業的停頓。其中有些人是因為年事已高,力不從心。這不是藝術的死亡,而是藝術的離休,他自己無可自責,社會也會尊重他在藝術上曾經作出的貢獻。

                痛苦的死亡卻不然,即當一個作家的體力和腦力還能勝任創作的時候,作品已經沒有了,其原因主要是由于各種苦難和折磨(包括自我折磨)所造成。折磨毀了他的才華,苦難消沉了意志,作為人來說他還活著,作為作家來說卻正在或已死去。這種死亡他自己感到很痛苦,別人看了心里也很難受。

                快樂的死亡卻很快樂,不僅他自己感到快樂,別人看來也很快樂。昨天看見他大會上做報告,下面掌聲如雷;今天又看見他參加宴會,為這為那地頻頻舉杯。昨天聽見他在高朋中大發議論,語驚四座,今天又聽見他在那些開不完的座談會上重復昨天的意見。昨天看見他在北京的街頭,今天又看見他飛到了廣州……只是看不到或很少看到他的作品發表哪里。

                我不害怕自然的死,因為害怕也沒用,人人不可避免。我也不太害怕痛苦的死,因為那時代已經過去。我最害怕的就是那快樂的死,毫無痛苦,十分熱鬧,甚至還有點轟轟烈烈。自己很難控制,即很難控制在一定的范圍之內。因為我覺得喝酒不一定完全是壞事,少喝一點可以舒筋活血,據說對心血管也是有幫助的。作家不能當隱士,適當的社會活動和文學活動可以開闊眼界,活躍思想,對創作也是有幫助的(7)。可是怎么才能不酗酒、不作酒鬼,這有益的定量究竟是多少呢?怕就怕三杯下肚,豪情大發,嘟嘟嘟,來個瓶底朝天,而且一頓喝不上便情緒不高,頗有怨言,甚至會到處去找酒喝。嗚呼,快樂地死去!
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