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              我的養母

              2018-11-29 09:36| 來自: 中國散文網|作者: 新 疆 段平合|編輯: admin| 查看: 4477| 評論: 0

                我的母親其實不是我的親生母親,而是我的養母。

                我十六歲就輟學了,在一家計算機培訓中心學習程序編輯。我小時候家里窮,我就偷偷地自己輟學去打工了,然后用打工掙來的錢學程序。我輟學打工的事母親是不知道的,她要是知道,斷不會同意我這么做的,雖然我不是她親生的,但她對我卻比親生的還要好。

                那時候我打工掙得錢除了交培訓學費外,我把一部分寄給母親,母親問我錢是哪來的,我就騙她說是獎學金,母親對我的話深信不疑,還到處炫耀。母親希望我好好學習,將來考個好大學,出人頭地,自己再苦再累也沒關系。可我與她想的不同,我不想讓母親受累,就

                算像母親說的那樣,考個好大學,可將來有沒有好前途還很難說。于是我就自己謀劃著,還不如學點技術,早點謀份工作,好孝敬母親,讓母親多享幾年福。

                后來我才知道我是一個孤兒,我不是母親的親生兒子,我到底是誰的兒子我也不知道,我只知道我是被母親從路邊撿來的,是她一手把我養大的。

                決定收養我的時候母親還沒結婚,但是已經定了親,但當男方聽說她收留了我之后,就給了母親一個選擇題,是選他還是選我。母親最終還是選擇了我,雖然她不想失去這門親事,但她說我小時候長得很可愛,她不忍心再把我丟在路邊,就這樣我就有了母親,有了家。

                在母親和那門親事了斷了之后,就再也沒人為她做媒了,因為有很多風言流語說我是母親和野男人生的雜種,沒有人愿意娶她。直到我兩歲那年,母親遇到了一個男人,母親后來常說的一句話就是:“他是我一輩子最想廝守的男人,也是他讓我知道我還是一個女人。”

                每當母親說這句話時,她都會仰望天空,沉浸在幸福之中。可我最恨這個男人,因為這個男人在我四歲的時候騙走了母親所有的積蓄,然后就沒了音訊。為此,母親還背了一身債,母親這一身病也就是因為這些債務染上的,母親為了盡快還清債,她沒日沒夜地干活,累

                垮了身體。

                那時我雖然小,但已經很懂事了,我可以做一些簡單的家務,每當母親看到我把家里收拾得干干凈凈時,她就會親我的額頭,她說我是家里的男子漢。所以,我從小就比其他的孩子多了一份責任。

                那時候我真恨不得一夜就長大,讓我去承受母親的那些苦,那時雖然苦,但母親從未在我面前說過苦字。

                在我七歲那年,和我同齡的其他孩子都上學了,他們都有漂亮的新書包,每天他們從我面前走過的時候,唱著老師教給他們的歌,那時候我很羨慕他們,我也希望像他們一樣唱著歌去學校,但我沒有新書包,那時候已經知道要面子的我就在母親面前哭著要新書包。現在

                我還清楚地記著母親對我說會有新書包的,母親說的鏗鏘有力,好像新書包就在某一個地方放著,她晚上偷偷地拿回來就可以了。等到第二天早上的時候我的確有了新書包,新書包是用碎花布拼湊起來的,花花綠綠的,像漫山遍野開滿了花。當時我很滿意,同學們也對

                我的新書包羨慕了好長時間。后來我知道母親為了做這個花花綠綠的書包一夜沒睡。

                上了小學,我的學習成績很好,年年都拿獎,獎狀都快把家里的一面墻上貼滿了,村里人都說我這個野孩子腦瓜子還挺聰明,也就在那個時候我知道自己不是母親親生的,而是母親從路邊撿回來的。為這事我還離家出走了,那天晚上我一個人躲在村里的一棵大樹上,我

                看著母親在樹下著急地轉著圈,喊著我的名字,但我就是不回答母親的喊叫,直到天快亮的時候,我從樹上掉了下來,當我醒來時,我已經在家里,母親微笑著看著我,我看到她眼睛紅紅的,那晚她哭了一夜。但自從這件事之后,村里的人再也不叫我野孩子了,后來我

                知道那是母親一家一戶囑咐過的。

                時間過得好快,轉眼間我就上高中了,我只讀了高一,高二我就開始逃課,一直在外面做零工,這樣時間一長,我就不愛學習了,也不敢去學校了。后來我就一邊打工,一邊學習程序編輯。

                如今,很多年過去了,母親也老了,我也不怕別人說我是雜種了。

                母親有時候會自言自語地說,我的親生母親會不會想見見我,要是我找到親生母親了,一定要好好孝敬她,雖然她沒有撫養你長大,可她卻給了你生命,讓我無論如何都不能恨她。

                這些年生活時好時壞的,但我從來沒有埋怨過生活,母親教會我越是困難越要堅強。

                母親臨終前說:“孩子,遇到我這樣的母親讓你受苦了。”

                我聽母親這么說眼淚就下來了,我不知道作為一個母親,除了生命,她還有什么沒有給我。

                忙完母親的喪事,我就回城里了,這些年生活過得越來越好了,只是偶爾想起母親的時候,覺得虧欠她的太多。母親一生沒有自己的孩子,就把全部的愛都給了我。

                我是被人拋棄的孩子,陰差陽錯地卻成了最幸福的人。
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