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              2018-11-29 10:59| 來自: 中國散文網|作者: 上海市 王壽慶|編輯: admin| 查看: 4275| 評論: 0

                姐,您好!又是一年的清明時節到來了,您離開我們也已有好幾個年頭了。每當有人在我面前問起您時,我都會抑制不住內心的痛苦,甚至是眼噙淚花。

                記得那是在2012年的6月的一天,您突然打我手機,說你已在南京的一家醫院里做了一次身體的全面檢查,身體的某個部位用手都能摸出有硬塊來,且還伴隨著疼痛的感覺,當時我聽到了就呀了一聲,感覺不妙,于是趕快就叫您來滬再做一次全面的身體檢查,可是怎么說

                您都不肯,就叫了一位坐堂的老中醫,給您開了十幾帖中草藥,等哪天回南京時好一起帶回。但我這時已知您的這個病是個不好的預兆,也從您的描述中知道了您當時身體的實情,因我是在藥房里工作的,有這樣病癥的病人不知有多少從我的手中經過,可我不忍心把這

                個病癥的實情告訴您,曾幾次暗示過您,邀您去長江上的第一橋崇啟大橋去參觀,問您身體吃得消嗎?您說可以的。在此我還對您說了這次去了下次還不知有時間再去的話,不知您當時聽懂了還是裝糊涂,我至今不知。就是這一次從啟東那邊回滬再回南京后,您就住進

                了南京的一家部隊醫院,是通過熟人的介紹而進的,還給您安排好了動手術的日期,到了動手術的那天,我們從四面八方匯集到了南京的這家醫院里,看著您被推進了手術室里,我還安慰您了幾句,叫您不要害怕,刀開好了就會好的哦!可還沒到一小時,那主刀醫師已

                從那手術室里走了出來告訴我們,說您的這個病已不能再進行手術了,得趕快把它縫起來,當即我就對在場的所有人說,如果是這樣的話,最多存活不超過三個月,再一個就是回去以后不能把這個消息告訴母親大人和您女兒,一是母親已是九十二歲的高齡了,對她能瞞

                多長時間就瞞多長時間。至于您女兒因考慮到人還小,雖然她也已結婚生了小孩了,怕經不起這樣的打擊,結果是您還沒到三個月就離我們而去了。當姐夫說您在最后的一段時間里或在睡夢里,經常叫著我的名字時,我聽了后心如刀絞,雖然我身在藥房里,但沒有那味

                藥可把您救治,問蒼天,蒼天也嘆!問上帝,上帝也無能為力!我是欲哭無淚啊!姐,您在住院期間我曾在南京上海多次地來回跑,可都不能感動病魔,它算是那方神圣啊!人類已能上天入海登月球,可對它卻束手無策!

                姐,您從小就一直在與病魔抗爭著,記得您十八歲那年時,手推著獨輪車去送公糧,我卻在這獨輪車的前面給您拉纖,那時我也已有十歲了,可您卻心疼我,全不顧自己生病的身體,從那時起您就身患了罕見的膽囊炎了,這在當時還不為人所知的病癥,卻不幸地被您砸

                中了。每當您發病時我們都只能干瞪著眼啊!就連醫生都不能解除的病痛,我們又能對它怎么樣啊?

                曾記得有一次我那時還只有十二歲左右,為了去給您配中藥,因醫院里少了一味,說要到一家叫川門橋的一家藥店里去才有,這家藥店離我們家居住的地方大概有四五里地,記得那天外面還下著雪,我就一人穿著套鞋就朝這家藥店趕去,配好了藥以后我就趕緊又朝家里

                趕路,由于走路快,全不管當時裝藥的竹籃里面的半瓶蜂蜜,當踏進家門時,才被母親發現都給打翻全都流完了,只剩下瓶底下還沒來得及向外流的一點點蜂蜜了。母親當時就聲音高八度地說我:“你個小人,做這點點事都做不好,今后你還能做什么事啊!”母親急了

                甚至還想伸手來打我,卻被您拉住了,我卻感到有些恐慌,自己竟然還不知道闖下了這么大的禍,還感到很委屈似的在那嗚嗚地大哭呢!您卻跑過來安慰我,說沒事沒事的權當是自己吃了。那一晚我也不知道是怎么睡的覺,總會膽戰心驚的,有時還會一抽一抽的,這都

                是事后您告訴我的。

                姐,記得我上高中時在學校里住,不小心把學校里的一只熱水瓶的膽給碰掉了,我不敢把這件事告訴母親,生怕她又要發火或又要若她生氣,就跑您那里告訴了你,因你當時已去當地的一家郵電局上班了,您二話沒說,就陪我到離您單位不遠的供銷社去買了熱水瓶膽,

                關照我路上小心點,去給學校賠上。

                姐,您能在這家郵電局上班,得全靠一位姓張的會計推薦和您自己的努力。那時正值“文革”中期,需要組建貧宣隊進駐各行各業,因您打得一手好算盤,也曾在中心小學做過小學二年級的代課老師,又寫得一手漂亮的鋼筆字,于是就被當時在我們公社工作的張會計推

                薦到了工作組,專門組織了你們這一班人馬去查賬,到運動的后期,由于您工作出色就把您留了下來被分配到了我們當地的郵電局上班,記得您剛上班去的時候就叫您上機發電報和接機,因那時候打電話都還要靠人工來接的。發電報可難為您了,光背那密碼就有得好背

                了,可您卻不畏艱巨,迎著困難上,沒多久,您就可以獨當一面了,且已能完全地勝任了這項工作,也讓你們單位里同行的小青年們刮目相看。

                當時您已是三十以外的大齡女性了,由于你的身體原因,你的婚姻一直沒有解決,后來在一位朋友的介紹下,與一位在校教高中外語離異的老師相識,您不嫌棄他還有一個八九歲的男孩在身邊,與他結合組成了家庭,他也順理成章地做了我的姐夫。這位姐夫對您相愛有

                加,家里的里里外外他都能做到面面俱到,唯一的一點也是他致命的缺點就是脾氣暴,因他認為每年的高考閱卷都有他在參與的,所以就養成了他高高在上的秉性,對什么人都喜歡抬杠和不認輸,但對您卻是百依百順,尤其是您對他的兒子,日后也便成了您的兒子更是

                疼愛,您利用您的人脈關系,不但幫他完成了學業,還幫他找到了自食其力的工作。當您自己的女兒出生后,也一如既往地對待姐夫的兒子,后來又有了他們的第三代也是如此。您總是擔心自己做得不夠而怠慢了他們,甚至不顧及自己的身體。為了他們您沒少操碎心啊

                !

                姐,您還記得我們小時候在家里帶小侄女的事嗎?有一次我們大家都在逗她玩的時候,突然她就大聲地哭了起來,也不知是什么原因,我們也有的驚慌失措了,后來還是您在她的手臂上發覺了是被洋癩痢刺著了,這可怎么辦啊?不要說是一個小孩,就是我們大人被這刺

                著了也是很難受的呀,最后是您急中生智,用家里的面粉在她的手臂上糊弄了她一下,說來也好怪,就這樣她也就不哭了,這也成了她日后長大時我們拿來取悅她的話題呢。

                還有一個堂弟,小時候最黏人了,但也最愛哭了,有時哭得我們都感到煩,于是您想出了一條妙計,叫我們對他叫喊著說:“山貓來了!”別說還真靈,就這么一叫就把他震懾住了,后來每當他哭起來的時候,就這么一叫,每每靈驗,日后竟成了我們對付他的法寶。

                其實我小時候也是個淘氣包了,記得您給我講起過,有一次,您在家里煮中午飯時,忽然想起了我,因我是您帶著的,突然之間已找不到我了,就把灶膛里的火壓滅了到處尋找我,您也去前門那里的一位堂姐問了未果后,就與這位堂姐一起來尋找我,當你們倆看到我正

                浮在我家旁邊小溝里的水面上在掙扎時,您不管三七二十一,也不知道您自己會游泳還是不會游泳,就拼命地跳到了那小溝里把我救了起來,如果不是您把我救了,可能我早就不在這個人世了呢!姐,如果說第一次生命是父母親給的,那么這第二次生命就是您給我的啊

                !雖然現在您已遠離我們而去了,但您的一笑一顰還那么清晰,不曾遠離。

                我記得,當我去參加了我們縣工作組時,您還送了我一只燎原牌的小收音機,讓我帶在身邊,有空時好隨時隨地地聽時事新聞了。其實您的女紅也還是很好的,您會幫著母親做我們一大家子的鞋,還會幫著母親給我們縫縫補補,雖然您已經干不了田里的活了,但這些針

                頭線腦的活,您是樣樣在行,以至于村里的小姐妹們和小媳婦們都會來找您要個鞋樣啊啥的。同時您還會做農村小孩穿的虎頭鞋,您學啥像啥,織絨線衣從平針到上下針再到元寶針,還有花色的織法,您是那樣不會啊!曾記得您還把舊的米色羊毛衫拆了給我織了一副元

                寶針露指的手套,說我喜歡看書寫字,這樣用起來可方便多了,您總是顧及他人而忽視了自己。

                姐,如果還有來世,我們還是姐弟相稱可好……
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