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              沒有人會孤獨終老

              2019-4-9 16:16| 作者: 周廣|編輯: admin| 查看: 3739| 評論: 0

                曾經和一個大叔聊天,他這么說道:一般有文采的人都會自視清高,這樣的人大多自私,所以避而遠之。深入交談之后,他坦白前女友是文科學霸,果不其然,傷的不淺。

                我很想反問他,那你敢承認你自己就不自私嗎?

                想想看,我們每個人總是在苛刻要求別人的同時卻對自己放松了標尺。每個人都希望遇到一個靠近自己理想標準的人。可是生活呀并不能像韓劇一樣,每一次邂逅都泛濫著粉紅色的泡泡。

                大多數人在尋找另一半時,嘴上說著是隨遇而安,而內心里卻無時無刻不在揣測,計較,偷偷地試探另一方與自己各個方面匹配與否。成年人的愛情就像一場博弈,每個人呀都是權衡利弊后才決定要不要和你在一起。但也正因為彼此都是這場對弈的利益相關者,所以才會樂此不彼。

                但你也別太過氣餒。

                想想看,我們不過都是平凡人,偶爾耍耍小心思,不過只是想要喜歡的人在意自己罷了。大家都是頭一回體驗人生,所以才會摸摸索索,彳彳亍亍,所以只好在迷路時辛苦找尋前人的模糊腳印。這樣想來倒也可安慰自己也不算太差勁。

                這個世界好像對美麗苛刻得過分,我們每個人看起來似乎很容易因為一個人的容貌而對另一個人產生迷戀,這就是時時都掛在每個人嘴邊的那句:看臉。

                外貌協會會長王爾德曾經說過,只有淺薄的人才不以貌取人。

                我覺得這句話不無道理。一個人從襁褓成長到亭亭,往往是年紀越大,越能從他的臉上看到他所經歷的歲月。我始終虔信這句話,相由心生,一個人的眉目神情往往在歲月的無限疊加中誠實顯現。而一個邋遢的人,是不會讓人有欲望去探索他內心世界豐富與否。

                其實呢,每個人的審美觀也不盡相同,拿我自己來說的話,先天的容貌的美麗,比方說一個人的五官并不會直接對我產生多大的荷爾蒙刺激。反倒那些后天所形成的行為習慣,舉手投足,穿衣品味,得體妝容對我而言會更有吸引力。

                你要知道,容貌僅僅是對方內心的入場券,彼此的合拍與否才是決定你們能夠攜手走多遠的關鍵。

                兩個人有共同的話語才是最為難能可貴的,你喜歡一個人,是因為他和你臭味相投,他與你有共同的喜好,一致的品味,與你有惺惺相惜的靈魂,而這些,是遠遠重于容貌的。

                戀愛沒有那么容易,而要我說呀,最佳的戀愛狀態無非是,兩個人都勢均力敵,不遺余力。

                不要因為付出的愛比對方多而認定自己就是被對方吃牢了,就是弱勢力的一方。我身邊不乏有很多女孩子,在別人追求自己的時候猶豫不定,故意吊著人家,模糊曖昧。最后人家不追了,反倒覺得不適應,郁郁寡歡,把鍋全都背在“習慣”身上。

                愛情里的盧瑟兒往往是那些斤斤計較,不夠從容的人。

                既然愛了,就坦蕩去愛,就算結束,彼此享受過,你也不虧,不是嗎?

                曾經和一個老爺爺聊天時談論到這個話題:

                一個年輕人如果懂得太少,我們大多會包容和原諒,替他打上年輕不懂事的保護罩,但是如果他懂得太多,那么雖然會獲得贊許,但也會引人說他陰沉,在這樣看來,城府深并不是什么好事。

                大概是目睹過太多的潮濕陰暗,所以我們都在盡可能尋找明朗純粹的人來作伴。但我想了很久,太純粹的人并不一定是最佳伴侶。

                奶油芝士吃多了也會膩,同理如此,只知道甜味的人,盡管讓人感覺清澈純粹,但也會覺得無趣,缺乏魅力。反倒是那些被傷害過,經歷過苦痛的靈魂,才是鮮活有生命力的靈魂。嘗試過苦和甜的人生才會讓你成熟和有趣。

                所以,你其實不必為你自己的復雜而感到慌張,也不必刻意去假裝單純天真。

                你就是你,這樣就很好。

                至于未來的那個人,你大可坦然:你沒出現的這些年里,我也還過得去。

                也許最后的你還是會和一個與你類似的普通人在一起,柴米油鹽,這一生就過去了。

                但也慶幸,你沒有和那個你心中所謂的至愛攜手白頭,要不然呢,你會發現他也不過如此。也不過是會變胖變丑會變老的普通人而已啊。

                作者:周廣,重慶市榮昌區人,文學學士學位,現在英國留學,攻讀碩士學位。從小愛好文學,7歲開始創作,曾在人民日報社總編室實習,至今已發表10多篇各類文章。原創運營個人微信公眾號【今天星期三】粉絲量500+。

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