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              你其實不需要活得那么用力

              2019-4-9 16:18| 作者: 周廣|編輯: admin| 查看: 5560| 評論: 0

                最近學校里的大四學姐學長們都在忙著搬離寢室了,于是每天上下宿舍樓總會在樓層間看到零散在地板上的廢舊物品,衣服,鞋子,書本,明信片……這個夏天過后,我就要成為這個學校里元老級的人物了。而與此同時,我弟的高考成績也下來了,這幾天我就被他電話騷擾如何如何填志愿給弄得心力交瘁。經歷過的人都知道,填志愿是一件極其燒腦的工作。你要根據自己的成績大量的地搜集信息,是興趣第一還是就業為主,理想當頭還是屈從現實,選專業還是選學校,離家遠還是離家近?其實要是真的遵從自己的內心,選擇自己喜歡的專業也算值得。可事實上,大多數人被問到喜歡做什么,想要做什么的時候,回答往往是模凌兩可。

                “我也不知道我喜歡什么。”

                回想起自己當年高考結束,填寫志愿的時候,也是費了不少時間和精力。

                因為考的分數實在是出乎意料,高不成低不就,我記得查到分數那個下午我一個人趴在電腦面前哭了好久,還不是默默地流眼淚,是真的嚎啕大哭,鼻涕眼淚一起來的那種。

                當時第一反應就是:我要復讀!誰都不許攔我!攔我就跟你急!嗚嗚嗚嗚嗚!

                當然,事實上也并沒有人攔著我。

                而后也冷靜下來,想了想自己在深夜里默默地舉著我那個老式的諾基亞按鍵機,窩在被窩里,用著龜速的2G網,刷半天的QQ空間跳出來全是高中同學花式曬大學美好生活的照片,然后我抬頭看了下墻上的掛鐘,哎,還有5個小時又要起床去學校上早自習了。那種場面,我自己都于心不忍。

                于是我妥協了,打消復讀的念頭之后,我就開始仔細地翻那本志愿指南,上網查學校和專業,在截止時間之前,認真地依次填好了志愿表的上的兩個提前批次志愿和六個一批次志愿,填得滿滿當當的,生怕落榜。

                如果我沒記錯的話,當時大概是填了杭州,上海,蘇州,南京,廈門,重慶這幾個城市的學校。而令我沒有想到的是,最后我竟然被自己的第一志愿的第一專業給錄取了。這就意味著,我后面的學校和專業壓根就跟白填了一樣。我媽當時想的是,以我的智商,一個人跑那么遠去上學,大概會在外面餓死要不然就是會被人給拐走的吧。

                好在我安然無恙地度過了大學四年。

                經歷過高考也就明白,其實高考不過是我們人生中的一個節點而已,與其說它是一個結束倒不如說它是一場開始。時至今日,老師們口中的那句“上了大學就輕松了,就解放了”的謊言仍在一屆接一屆地傳遞著。我不敢說高考能夠改變命運云云,但如果非要給這場考試一個評價,那我還是樂意站在正面的一方,高考的確就那么回事兒,但它真的很重要,有多重要呢?

                它可是決定了你今后會遇見的人和事,勾勒出了你在最美好的年歲里的模樣呀。

                也許你會說,有些人考的那么好畢業了還不是找不到工作,反倒是曾經班上不愛學習的同學早早出入社會,摸透了成人世界的規則,過得風生水起,洋洋得意。

                寒假在重慶打的遇到一個司機大叔,他和我談論起自己的兩個兒子的現狀。大兒子早早輟學出來工作現在月薪8000+,而二兒子現在還在讀大學,未來畢業就業都沒有一個著落,于是感嘆道讀書浪費錢浪費時間。

                雖然當時我并沒有和他爭執,但其實我真的很反感現在社會上一些“讀書無用”的言論。讀書帶給你的是一種潛移默化的影響,這種精神上的影響可以說是終生的。不是有一句話說了嗎,你現在的任何一個行為舉止,都透露著你所讀過的書,走過的路。

                “讀書無用論”不過是成功的人自謙的詞罷了,你還當真了?

                要知道,天才不一定是科班出身,但如果不是科班,你可連龍套都跑不了的哦。

                年輕的時候總是想著,快些長大就好了,最好的肯定都在未來,只要不停地向前奔跑就一定可以遇到。然而走過來了才發現,重要的都在身后發生了,已經成為過去,而再繼續往前只是一片空白了。

                對于過去的選擇,沒有什么后悔的,也沒有什么值得后悔的。任何一種選擇都是即時做的決定,你沒有辦法溯回到當時的情景,也就永遠無法和過去的自己握手言和。

                所以為什么要輾轉反側糾結一些已經做過的決定呢是不是?

                也不知道從什么時候開始,自己成了一個對一切儀式都很冷感的人。

                大概是從前太過用力,事事都莊重對待,而后沒有得到相應的回應,也就慢慢地變得無所謂了。

                打個比方說,你喜歡一個人,他的任何一個小細節都會在你心里烙下印記,他的動作,言語,你都覺得獨一無二迷人無比,然而當你第一百零一次捧著告白信準備遞給他的時候,發現原來人家身邊早已有了伴侶,他們從你身旁走過,笑臉盈盈,如沐春風,一個眼神都舍不得施舍給你。

                所以才會有這句話,認真你就輸了。

                任何事情都是這樣,不要過于輕薄地對待,也不要自作主張賦予它太深重的意義。

                你看這世上每個人都活得一本正經,走在大街上,每張臉上都掛著同一副表情。為了生存,神經緊繃。戰戰兢兢,如履薄冰。

                有的人可能會反駁說:你是站著說話不腰疼了,不用力怎么能獨當一面打敗萬千網紅臉嫁給高富帥哦,不用力哪里來錢買房買車買鉆戒迎娶白富美哦?

                其實呢,每個人幸福和快樂的來源不同,有的人求安逸自在,而有的人就是喜歡拼盡全力博取功名利祿,這當然無可厚非呀。你也不必為自己是其中哪一類人而感覺到內疚或者懷疑,這就好比一些人就是很享受披甲上陣的感覺,而另外一些人,其實更喜歡懶洋洋地躺在草地上曬太陽呢。

                這兩種選擇都沒有是非可論,他們都很好。

                只是有的時候,用力過猛,難免會覺得身心疲憊。

                張愛玲在《喜寶》里如是寫道,“我需要很多很多的愛,如果沒有愛,那么就很多很多的錢,如果兩件都沒有,有健康也是好的”。

                我一直覺得,人活著,健康快樂就是最大的福氣,其他的全都是過眼浮云。人世間走一遭,開心最重要,單身的日子也可以活得瀟灑自在,沒錢也可以窮開心嘛是不是。

                以前也有寫過,此生的追求呀就是活得獨立自在。生活而已,哪需要那么用力呢,用心就夠了呀。當全世界都在互相追逐,你未必非要跟隨別人一起快步奔走,你也可以選擇活得輕松一點。

                只是無論怎樣,我都希望你可以時刻不忘初心,問問自己現在的生活是不是自己所想要的,如果是,那么一切都是值得的,如果不是,那就去改變。

                愿每個人都可以,找到一種適合自己的,并且覺得舒服,愜意的方式去愛,去生活,去和這個世界溫柔相擁。

                作者:周廣,重慶市榮昌區人,文學學士學位,現在英國留學,攻讀碩士學位。從小愛好文學,7歲開始創作,曾在人民日報社總編室實習,至今已發表10多篇各類文章。原創運營個人微信公眾號【今天星期三】粉絲量500+。

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