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              寂寞的香煙

              2019-4-11 15:48| 作者: 魏小鈞|編輯: admin| 查看: 2188| 評論: 0

                微風輕輕地卷起窗簾,夕陽的余暉斜射進窗戶拉著長長的影子。一張舊書桌上放著一盞有些破舊的小臺燈,一本天藍色的日記本,一個煙灰缸和一盒半開著的紅梅牌香煙。突然,一陣強風刮過,掀起了日記本,一頁頁的紙張隨風飛舞,就像一個快樂的小女孩在翩翩起舞。隨著日記本的打開,那塵封許久的故事終將呈現在人們眼前,命運的齒輪牽引著一切,訴說著那些不為人知的故事。

                2月14日,星期五,天氣晴。今天是情人節,屬于我一個人的情人節,我不知道今天過去以后會是什么樣子?因為我的兜里還剩下最后的五塊錢,果真應驗了那句話“兜比臉還干凈”。來到這個陌生的城市已經整整三個月了。在這三個月里幾乎沒有吃過一頓飽飯,每天都是忙綠著找工作,穿梭于各類人才招聘現場。可是每次遭人白眼,無功而返。從不抽煙的我鼓起勇氣,把最后的五塊錢買了一包紅梅牌香煙和一個打火機。夜晚,孤單的我靜靜地靠在那只有7平米的地下室冰冷的墻上,點燃了人生中的第一支香煙。辛辣的煙味嗆得我眼淚嘩嘩的流,嗓子難受死了,真不知道那些喜歡抽煙的人是怎么忍受過來的,顫抖的雙手緊緊地夾著香煙,直到煙頭燙手時才放開。

                5月1日,星期日,天氣:小雨。轉眼又過了兩個多月,幸運的是,我還活著,呵呵……沒有什么比這更值得高興的事了!天無絕人之路,更何況我還是一個四肢健全的男人呢?我找到了一份清理、回收垃圾的工作。盡管每月的工資并不高,干的也是常人不愿意干的工作,很臟、很累!可能和那些坐在辦公室辦公的白領階層無法比較,但是我很滿足,畢竟這是靠自己的雙手在養活自己,我相信經過這些事的磨練,生活中沒有什么挫折能夠打倒我。我搬出了那只有七平米的地下室,現在和同事合住在公司的員工宿舍里。雖然條件還是比較艱苦,可和之前一比較,真是感覺生活太美好了。我靠著窗戶默默地凝視著窗外的細雨,街道上川流不息的車輛彰顯著這座城市的節奏,我深深地吮吸了一口香煙,任由它劃過我的呼吸道慢慢地進入肺里。指尖輕輕地一彈,煙灰搭上了微風的末班車飄向了遠方……

                11月25日,星期六,天氣晴。我又換工作了,現在一家外貿公司當文員,待遇還不錯。呵呵,不知不覺的來到這里已經快一年了,歷經了世間百態、嘗盡了人情冷暖。這期間干過的工作太多太多了,清潔工、刷碗工、洗衣工、搬運工、銷售員等等。已經記不得有多少次想要放棄,每到這時,腦海里都會浮現出當初走出大山的情景。臨行前,家人和朋友送我到村口,他們殷切的叮囑我:“孩子,你是咱村里第一個大學生,這次出去可要好好的干,可要給咱們村爭氣啊!”心中總是堅持著一個信念,不活出個人樣來,絕不回去見父老鄉親。

                下午在溪邊散步時,一個美麗的身影闖進了我的視線。她端坐在小馬扎上,畫筆在手指間飛快的跳躍著,頭上戴著一頂白色帶花邊的禮帽,一身潔白如雪的連衣裙襯托著她完美的線條。我靜靜地坐在離她不遠的石階上,仔細的打量著這個陌生的女孩。心里有一種沖動促使我上去與她認識,想和她做個朋友。指尖傳來灼傷的疼痛感,我奮力地將煙頭拋棄,腳步躊躇地走向她在的地方。“額…額…你好,我…想…和你做個朋友!”“呵……好啊!”好甜美的笑容,不帶一絲雜質,就像一朵盛開的雪蓮花潔白無瑕。

                6月15日,星期三,天氣:大雪。這一天仿佛就是我的世界末日。她走了,永遠的走了,去了她理想的永恒國度——烏托邦。她是笑著走的,沒有一絲的遺憾。她說:“感謝上天讓我們相遇,緣分是天注定的,今生未了的情緣一定會在來生再相聚。哥哥你不要悲傷,我的離去是早已注定的,不過是早一點罷了。請哥哥記住,來生我們一定會在那夢開始的地方相遇。因為我們的名字早已刻在了三生石上了。以后我不在你身邊了,你要學會照顧好自己,也沒人督促你戒煙了,還是少抽點煙吧,最好是戒了,畢竟抽煙對身體的傷害很大。相信會有一個更好的女孩來替我照顧你、管著你。她會比我更愛你!”她就是那個戴白色禮帽的女孩,我們從相識、相知、相愛,工作上我們一起奮斗,生活中我們相互關懷、照顧。我手捧著她的照片,獨自蜷縮在墻角哭泣,腦海里全是和她在一起的生活的點點滴滴。她的一顰一笑早已經深深地印在了骨子里。沒有她的世界里將會是無比黑暗,我不知道該怎么辦?天不遂人愿,造化弄人,天使將她接到天國去享受更好的生活去了,我只能深深地祝福她在那個國度生活的更美好!

                7月15日,星期五,天氣:陰。行囊已經收拾完畢,我打算明日一早離開這塊傷心之地。真要離開這里了,心中有太多的不舍,這里埋葬了我們美好的回憶。我將承載著我們兩個的夢想回家鄉去發展,建立一個美麗的世外桃源,過著我們理想的生活。讓那無情的世界見鬼去吧,將希望的種子灑滿大地,讓愛生根發芽,讓世界充滿溫暖。

                每當我們經過一扇門的時候,總是會忍不住想要去知道門后面藏著什么東西,好奇的心理和恐懼的心理在相互爭斗。虛掩著的門露出一絲光線,關鍵看你是否有勇氣去推開那扇門,最終的決定權在你的手里,可是你又害怕推開門后的失望,不是自己所希望看到那樣,總是在猶豫不決。也許真當你推開門的時候,你會發現門后只有一盒寂寞的香煙在靜靜地躺著、躺著……

                作者簡介:魏小鈞,男,中共黨員,本科學歷。2007.12參軍入伍,先后在云南武警總隊、武警特警學院、武警杭州士官學校工作和學習,現供職于武警總部政治工作部宣傳文化中心。自幼愛好文學,業余創作并在《解放軍報》《人民武警報》《中國武警》《橄欖綠》等報刊發表了10多篇各類文章,多次立功受嘉獎。
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