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              劉慶邦:小說是面鏡子,照出“中國式家長”的焦慮

              2019-6-25 17:26| 編輯: admin| 查看: 472| 評論: 0

              劉慶邦最新長篇《家長》從親子教育話題切入,拋出對“重智力輕情感”誤區的思考劉慶邦:小說是面鏡子,照出“中國式家長”的焦慮

              68歲作家劉慶邦推出長篇小說《家長》,對“重智力輕情感”的教育誤區展開思考。(作家本人供圖)

              近年來,一批聚焦親子教育話題的影視劇作品引發廣泛熱議。圖為《小別離》里演員黃磊、張子楓扮演的一對父女。

              ■嘉賓:劉慶邦(著名作家)

              ■采訪:許旸(文匯報記者)

              以短篇小說創作聞名文壇的作家劉慶邦,最近推出30多萬字最新長篇《家長》,從親子教育話題切入描摹家庭命運,對“重智力輕情感”的教育誤區展開思考,透視了一群“可愛、可敬、可悲”家長的焦慮與困境。

              《家長》首發于今年《十月》雜志,即將由北京十月文藝出版社推出單行本。小說直面真實的教育現場,讓人讀后感嘆:無論家長或下一代,我們都是世界的孩子,未來的路上,請一直學習成長并前行。昨天,本報記者專訪劉慶邦,和他聊聊教育題材如何在小說中顯形并提純。

              親子教育能撩開社會幃幔,進入相對封閉神秘的家庭內部

              文匯報:小說主角王國慧一心撲在孩子身上,為兒子拿“三好學生”獎馬不停蹄找人、為提升孩子語文成績周末輾轉作文輔導班等,她的行為濃縮了一部分“擔心輸在起跑線上”的家長心態。為什么將文學聚光燈投向這一現象?

              劉慶邦:人才激烈競爭的時代,很多父母都希望孩子出類拔萃,因此不遺余力地對孩子施加壓力,以致“直升機父母”“割草機父母”“掃雪機父母”等層出不窮。望子成龍、望女成鳳,這是很自然的;可他們往往看重智力開發,卻對孩子成長過程中面臨的心靈問題、情感需求失之簡單粗暴,比如一刀切掐掉萌發的情愫,甚至不經商量就扔掉孩子的寵物貓狗等。就像王國慧的家庭,看似和和美美,背后早已“一地雞毛”。為了應付各方壓力,尤其是難以遏制的攀比虛榮心,她處于無處捉摸又無處不在的焦慮中。

              孩子的出生,改變了父母神經元的連接與重設,使父母對孩子每方面都極其敏感,沒有什么東西比孩子的命運更能讓家長操心操勞。在所有家庭難念的經當中,對孩子的撫養和教育,恐怕是最難念的經之一。一旦當上了爸爸或媽媽,就套牢了,再也推卸不掉。但越是期待值高,越要重視孩子人格全面發展,否則過于強制扭曲的打壓恐怕會埋下致命傷害的種子。孩子是家長的參照,而且是最好的參照。只有在孩子的參照下寫人,才能撩開社會的幃幔,進入相對封閉神秘的家庭內部,寫出人的生存本相和人性本質,把人寫活,寫立體,寫豐富。

              文匯報:《家長》是否融入親身體驗?在親子教育這條漫長路上,哪些瞬間讓你印象深刻?

              劉慶邦:我年少喪父,家境貧寒,母親不僅對我有養育之恩,也是我的第一個老師、最好的老師。在我受到的教育總量中,母親的教育所占分量最重。她不識字,但潛移默化了我的人格養成。如今兒子、女兒也都有了各自孩子,孫輩的教育環境完全迥異于幾十年前。

              《家長》融入了我自己、親戚朋友在內的親身經歷。30多歲時,有兩件事印象很深。有次我參加兒子的家長會,當班主任老師點名批評我兒子時,我有些按捺不住,從座位上站起,當場為兒子辯護起來。一般來說,家長們在老師面前唯唯諾諾,都很順從,巴結老師唯恐不及。我不但反駁了批評,還辯得慷慨激昂,情緒激動,讓老師和家長們都大為吃驚。

              還有一次,因搬家需要給兒子轉學,新家附近學校教導處一位女主任百般刁難,不接受我兒子轉學。兒子正上小學,不轉學就無學可上。我一時感到絕望,竟嚎啕大哭,非常丟丑。哭過之后,我沒有再跟女主任說一句話,轉身就走了。后來這段經歷被我寫進短篇小說《男人的哭》發表在《上海文學》雜志。

              文匯報:你對一些家庭教育問題進行批判的同時,筆端仍帶著強烈的人文關懷,甚至有種悲憫。

              劉慶邦:人類與其它野生動物不同,動物教會孩子奔跑、捕食、生存就行了,推出去不管了,人還要負責對孩子進行長期艱苦的教育。從家長對孩子教育的重視程度和付出而言,每個家長都可尊,可敬,可點,可贊。其實孩子也是一樣,因血緣相連,孩子對父母的每個面部表情、聲音語調及行為評價,也高度敏感。這種父母與孩子間錯綜復雜的關聯互動,構成整個教育總量鏈條中占重要環節的家庭教育。密集的、帶有強烈干預性的家庭教育,會影響甚至決定孩子的一生。

              中國人的說法是,家家都有一本難念的經。這個經,我們可以理解為日子,念經就是過日子。作家的寫作,通常關注的不是幸福的經、好念的經。因為這樣的經是相似的,寫了也沒多大意義,亦不能引起讀者的興趣。有悲憫情懷的作家所關注的往往是痛苦的經、難念的經。只有知苦而進、知難而進,貼心貼肺寫出難念的經,才具有文學即人學方面的意義,才有可能引起讀者的共鳴。

              小說不是照搬現實,高粱需經發酵、蒸煮、窖藏才釀成美酒

              文匯報:近年來,國內涌現了一批從不同角度描摹中國教育故事的小說,如何讓自己的書寫不落俗套?

              劉慶邦:我的寫作在追求個性的同時,也追求人性的普遍性。從這個意義上說,我不反對讀者在讀這部小說時對號入座。也許讀者真的能在《家長》中找到自己。

              親子教育是導火索,小說中鄉土風貌、人情冷暖、人性欲望等一步步隨之發酵。在我看來,父母和孩子之間的關系,是人與人之間最緊密長久、最穩固也最不可更改的關系。有時父母和孩子之間并非想象得那般美好和諧,反而是代替和反代替,控制和反控制,教育和反教育,這種驚心動魄的張力,值得在小說里書寫。其實人的精神和靈魂層面,絕不會出現雷同的情況。如同每個人的臉孔、手紋、天性不一樣,靈魂更是千差萬別。寫出一個人獨特的靈魂,就與別人的寫作區別開了,就只能是打上自己心靈烙印的“這一個”。

              文匯報:《家長》中許多素材很接地氣,生活氣息濃郁,你怎么看小說對現實社會的加工?

              劉慶邦:有人說,眼花繚亂的現實生活太豐富了,太復雜了,太精彩了,小說寫作已跟不上社會發展步伐,被日新月異、層出不窮的現代化故事拋到了后面。有人甚至認為不必費神去虛構什么小說,現實中許多千奇百怪的事情直接搬進小說就行了。對這樣的說法,我不敢茍同。文學的功能主要是審美的,有時并不需要太復雜,而是需要簡單,越簡單就越美。

              我想,小說主要表現的是日常生活中的詩意,不需要過于離奇。有人說文藝作品似曾相識,出現同質化現象,欣賞者沒了新鮮感,變得有些厭倦。現實生活是有雷同的地方,時間、時代、空氣、環境、生活方式、交流工具,包括使用的語言和說話口氣,都大體相似。但小說是虛構、想象、創造之物,是超越現實的,并不直接和現實對應。它建設的是心靈世界,而不是照搬現實世界。好比再好的高粱也不能直接當酒喝,至少要經過碾壓、掩埋、發酵、蒸煮、提煉、窖藏等多道難關,糧食最終才變成佳釀。 


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